The One Right Answer

So, once upon a time, there was this cat. And the cat lived happily in a bag. Until one day, that cat got out of his bag, spied his opening and started running.

Last time I saw him, that cat's was merging onto an eight-lane superhighway, in the H.O.V. lane at about 90 mph.

Yes, the secret's out, and word spread about that fast. Pretty much the entire world knows I'm pregnant now. Which is nice, because I don't have to make excuses about being crabby, or why I'm not drinking, or anything like that. And to be fair, The Hubs and I are incredibly lucky to be blessed with family and friends who are supportive of us, and therefore are thrilled by the big news.

Honestly, I think I'll be more thrilled when I feel better. Right now, this whole pregnancy thing can kiss my ass. I feel lousy all day long - at times I wish I WOULD throw up - I think I'd feel better than I do now, just dragging with this all-day gaggy, urpy feeling. And I'm tired. Bone-crushing tired, which I hate. I HATE being the girl who is too tired to go do something, because it's not who I am. And crabby? I have the patience of a fruit fly, and I keep trying to explain to people that I'd really rather be left alone. I don't think this is a difficult request, nor do I think it's easily confuse-able with "let me get in your face, fuss all over you and ask you 9,000 more questions."

And THEN I feel like a horrible ingrate, because they're just being nice, and I shouldn't be so crabby towards people who are just being nice, right?

Anyway, now that this cat's out of the bag and off on the superhighway somewhere, I've learned a few things:

1. EVERYONE has a pregnancy story. And they can't WAIT to share it with you.
2. EVERYONE swears that I will suddenly wake up one day and just "looove being pregnant!"
3. No matter what you do, it's wrong.

Number three I find the worst of all the offenses. Allow me to count the ways that I've been told I'l be a less-than-stellar mom:

1. How many kids we want. The fact that The Hubs and I only want one child. It's something we've been in agreement with for years. I grew up an only child, and LOVED being an only. I like to think I turned out okay, so I'm a little bitter when people tell me it could/will "ruin" my baby. Look, I would never, EVER judge anyone for their decision to have and raise babies. One, two, five, or the Duggar family - it's an intensely personal decision, and it's for each individual family to decide what's best for them. Not anyone else -- well-intentioned relatives included.

2. Breast vs. bottle feeding. Ok, I've been on the Internet before. I know that this is one of the biggest hot-button topics on earth, and can incite fury in just about anyone, because feelings can run so strongly. I'd like to start again by saying, I would never, EVER judge anyone for their decision either way. I also realize that I'm 9 weeks pregnant and may in fact, change my mind. But if I'm being completely honest with myself (which I've forced myself to be), the harsh, ugly truth of the matter is that I don't want to breast feed. Despite everything I've read, the thought just honestly doesn't hold a lot of (you can read that as ANY) appeal to me. And I feel guilty about that, I think largely in part because of everything I've read. Is this totally bad? Am I selfish?

3. SAHM vs. Working Mom. Look, I would LOVE to be a SAHM, at least until the baby is old enough to go to kindergarten. I would. But let's be realistic. While The Hubs and I are in a decent place financially (we absolutely can't do everything we want, and some months it's really ugly, but all our basic needs are comfortably met), it's because we both work. I worry about having another little person to support. However, I'm also a realist - I refuse to work to pay for daycare. If it's going to be that much of my pay (I have no clue what childcare costs. None.), then I'll just stay home until I figure something else out (work part-time, find another job, etc.). Unless you're going to either foot my day-care bill, or supplement my living expenses so I can stay home, it's absolutely none of your business.

4. Natural Childbirth vs. Meds. To all the ladies out there who had natural, unassisted childbirths: My hat is off to you. You're all far stronger women than I could ever hope to be. Seriously? I know this is my first kid, but I am a sissy. I know this about myself. I want pain management.

5. Finding out the sex of the baby. Why wouldn't I take advantage of technology? If YOU don't want to know what I plan to do, then don't ask. And is it wrong already that when people ask me "do you want to find out what you're having?" and I say "yes, we'd like to find out the sex of the baby" (because I already "know what I'm having" - I'm having a BABY!), and their response is "why? Then there's no surprises left!" that I want to punch them? I managed thus far to smile politely and tell them, well, I'll just be surprised at the doctor's office, now, won't I?

The One (And Apparently Only) Question I Have Answered Correctly To Date:

Yes, I quit smoking.


Okay mommy-bloggers - am I being unreasonable? Excessively hormonal? Am I normal? How do I handle this? I have 31 more weeks to go, and I'm going to lose my mind if I don't get some serious "real world" advice!!